You want BIM with that order?

Lately I’ve been getting a lot of phone inquires that usually go something like this:

Me “Hello, cogitate design, how can I help you” (keep in mind I do my best Isaac Hayes impression on the phone)

Potential Client “I got your name somewhere, I have a lot and I want to build a (insert building type here)”

Me “Wow, that sounds like an interesting project, would you like to meet and discuss further?”

Potential Client “No, I just need plans”

Me “Yeah, that, um, that’s not something we just ‘have’”

Potential Client “I don’t need much, can you just sell me some plans you’ve already done?”

Me “No, not really, we craft buildings per the client’s needs and specific site…”

Potential Client “Can’t you just sell me some plans from your cad machines?”

Me “No, it doesn’t really work like that…”

Potential Client “Jackassarchitect…”

Me “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Potential Client “Oh, I said Jackson Browne’s car is next…”

Me “That doesn’t even make sense…”

Potential Client “Does to…”

Me “Does not…”

Potential Client “Jackson Browne’s car is next…”

>click<

Me “Bueller… Bueller… Bueller… Bueller…”

So then it hit me, we architects exist to get scraps for compensation and make it as easy as possible for others to profit. I can do that. Then an apparition of Ray Kroc appeared. I can make it even easier; I’ll offer a drive-thru service and a value menu! Introducing the cogitateDESIGN VALUE MENU:

(click menu to enlarge)

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