Reprogrammed

Much to my disdain, HGTV seems to be always on in our home. A few shows are tolerable. However, the majority spew so much misinformation it’s like watching Fox ‘news’ or the weather. The misinformation may make for exciting TV, but it is a disservice to those of us in the design field. What’s the response to a client who says “Design? But on HGTV they just drew something on a white board?” or “How much? What do you mean that was only material costs?” or “Design fees, huh? Designers are everywhere, they even hang out a big box building supply stores and give their services away!”

So what’s a legitimate architect and/or designer to do? The last post for 2012 will be a gift, the gift of reprogramming. I’ve come up with some working titles and show concepts based on ten randomly (not really) picked HGTV shows. These new shows are architect geared and based on the reality of design and construction, well almost. My 2012 Holiday gift to HGTV- Reprogramming:

DEATH MATCH

1. Holmes on Holmes Architects on Architects- Architects compete in bare knuckle boxing matches for the affections of well-paying clients (I know, it sounds a tad pervy).

2. Property Virgins Client Virgins- Saving yourself for the right time isn’t worth it. No questions, no judging, no embarrassment- want to live in a house that fits you like a glove- you’ll need an architect!

3. Dear Genevieve Dear Mies- Architects gather and conduct séances to summon Mies for guidance on home renovations, deck additions, and whether or not they should use vinyl siding.

4. Love It or List It Love It or Love It- Focused solely on architect designed homes in the US that are affordable and sustainable.

5. My First Place My First Architect- Client’s explain why their first architect experience was so pleasurable and in reality protection was not needed. In fact, architecture is a disease that should be caught and spread. **hint, put this in prime time followed by Love It or Love It**

6. Designers Challenge Louies’ Challenge- The comedic mishaps of an architect trying to hide his wife from his mistress from his other mistress from his wife. Along the way he’ll come to terms with his bastard son and possibility of a daughter- all while designing awesomeness!

7. Property Brothers- You know, besides the creepiness of these two guys (are there really two?), I’ll let this one slide… they have a bit of common sense and slight design acumen.

8. House Crashers Ego Crashers- Clients tempt architects with the promise of a grand project… only to beat them down with the request for a patio extension design for their tract house.

9. Candice Tells All Corbu Tells All- Corbu breaks it down and explains the truth behind his architecture. For example; Pilotis was a complete farce- truth is he had no foundation detailing classes in his formal education.

10. The Vanilla Ice Project The Crazy Ass Ice Project- Bjork swills some Reyka, knocks someone down and then explores great Icelandic architecture.

11. Color Splash White Splash- Color? We don’t need no stinking color- exploring the hues, shades, subtle variances of white or pure white or extra white or bright white or snow white or jaleel white or linen white or bone white or …

 

In addition to the reprogramming, a fresh new logo was also in order- so I giveth again:

AGTV2
This is a work in progress. Details have not been flushed out- confirmed time slots, show length, cast members (call me, I have suggestions), etc. still need some work. However, I request that you don’t reschedule in the time slots of Monsterquest, Storage Wars, Finding Bigfoot, or Ancient Aliens- those are quality shows that I can’t miss!

Thanks 2012 and here’s to a great 2013 and hoping you enjoy the gifts!

Design On,

** Love you Bjork, don’t hurt me!

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2 comments
  1. An honest show lineup is what HGTV/diY and other networks have needed all too long. I’d actually figure out what channel it is again. The only one you were missing is Design on a Dime… We all know you get what you pay for!

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